Second Rough Draft

After hours of cuts, calls, and arguing with myself over what to keep and what to kill, the second rough draft finally came together. This one actually looked like a film.

The pacing was tighter. The flashbacks were now fragmented across the conversation scene instead of sitting awkwardly at the start. That shift alone made the story feel more personal, more haunted. The runtime dropped from seven minutes to just under 4 minutes, still not ideal, but way closer to the target. Every second now had to carry weight.

I’d started working on audio. Nothing fancy, just muted the in-camera sounds, synced the Zoom H6 recordings, and threw in a few diegetic SFX here and there, mainly for the fight scene and ambiance. No EQ, no cleanup, no proper mixing yet. That would come later.

No polish yet. Color grading untouched. Proper subtitles missing. But narratively, it was working. For the first time, it felt like the story was telling itself instead of me forcing it.

This draft gave me clarity. The structure was locked. Now it was time to fix the experience.